


CHANGE

by kingstoken



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-15
Updated: 2015-12-14
Packaged: 2018-04-26 13:20:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 2,864
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5006326
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kingstoken/pseuds/kingstoken
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>He saw Sir Leon with his hand upon Gwen's shoulder, and she had placed her hand over his.  It was a small gesture, but a telling one.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

The council meeting was over, and he was one of the final few to exit the room. At the last moment he had a thought, and turned. He saw Sir Leon with his hand upon Gwen's shoulder, and she had placed her hand over his. It was a small gesture, but a telling one. He left, his thought unexpressed.

He made his way to Gaius' quarters. He still lived, part of the time, with Gaius. Gaius was getting older, and often needed his assistance. The remainder of his time was spent in the abandoned crofter's cottage, he had made over into his own home. He often retreated there when he wished to experiment with magic, or needed solitude. He was no longer a longer a servant, although he did still serve the Queen. She had made him a member of her council. Some still looked down upon him or feared his skill with magic, but Gwen appreciated his abilities.

"Merlin" called Gaius, as he entered the room " I hadn't expected you back so early." Gaius was bent over a book, instructing young David. David was a lad from the lower town Gaius had taken on as apprentice, to teach him the way of the healing arts. When Merlin didn't return Gaius' greeting he must have seen something on Merlin's face. He turned to dismiss David.

"I think that is enough studying for today, why don't you head on home." David gathered his things, wished them a good evening and left. After the door closed shut, Merlin began to pace.

"Is something wrong, Merlin?"

"No, yes, maybe?" Gaius gave him a exasperated look.

"Have you noticed something different about Gwen and Sir Leon lately?"

"In what way?"

"A couple of weeks ago I thought I saw them holding hands, but I was a distance away, and I thought I was imagining it. However, today after the council meeting I clearly saw Sir Leon touch her shoulder, and Gwen touched his hand."

"So, what of it? Gwen and Leon have been friends for years. They were friends before she married Arthur." Merlin sat down across from Gaius.

"But, what if they are more than friends? What if they have feelings for each other, romantic feelings?" he emphasized.

"Well, I'm not convinced, but I could hardly blame them if they did. Gwen has been ruling on her own for quite some time, it must get very lonely."

"She is Arthur's wife."

"She was Arthur's wife. I know part of him still lives on the island of Avalon, but in this world he is gone."

"I don't like this. This can't be the way things are supposed to be." He said, as he got up and headed towards his room.

"Merlin" Gaius called "I would stay out of this. You are hardly an expert on matters of the heart. You must trust Gwen's judgment, and know she wouldn't make a rash decision." Merlin turned and entered his room.


	2. Chapter 2

The next morning Merlin lay abed, his thoughts racing. Maybe Gaius was right, he should do nothing and trust Gwen, but his first instinct was to protect Arthur and his interests. In the past few years that had meant protecting Gwen, but was she now going against what Arthur would want? He grabbed at his hair in frustration, this was all so confusing. He sat up in hopes of clearing his head. He came to the decision that all he would do for now was observe Gwen and Sir Leon, perhaps his assumptions were wrong.

A few days later Merlin passed Leon in the courtyard. Leon carried his arms loosely by his sides, but in one hand he grasped a small bouquet of flowers. Merlin decided to follow him. Leon entered through a gate into the small walled garden. Merlin stayed at the gateway, partially hidden behind a wall.

Merlin could see Gwen inside the garden, and Leon was heading straight towards her. Merlin made a fist with his hand, and his eyes flashed. The flower stems bent and the flowers withered.

"For you." Leon said to Gwen, presenting the flowers with a flourish, having no idea of their changed condition. Merlin tried not to laugh. Gwen took the blooms hesitantly.

"Thank you, but I have no idea what this means." It was then that Leon realized the state of the flowers.

"I am so sorry" he said, clearly embarrassed "they were fine when I picked them earlier."

"Never mind, it is the thought that counts" she said. giving Leon a smile. They than began to converse in hushed tones. Merlin was trying to decide if he should retreat, when he saw Leon reach towards Gwen, he either meant to touch her shoulders or hug her. Without thinking Merlin gently waved his hand, his eyes flashing again. Sir Leon stumbled backwards, catching himself before he could fall.

"Leon" called Gwen, sounding worried "are you alright?" Grabbing his arm to steady him.

"Yes. I lost my balance for a moment. It felt almost like I had been pushed."

"Really? That is most strange" Gwen replied as she looked around the garden. Merlin ducked behind the wall.

"Come" he heard her say "let us get you inside." Their footsteps faded away as they made their way towards the castle door that opened into the garden.


	3. Chapter 3

Merlin stayed close to Gwen for the next little while. He interrupted any interactions between Gwen and Sir Leon, sometimes using magic, but sometimes his presence was enough to stop any romantic interludes. They were obviously not ready to share their affections in public, and Merlin was now sure there was an attraction between them. They would often seek each other out to converse privately, Leon would often try to touch Gwen, but Merlin found ways of preventing him. Merlin knew this wasn't a long term solution to the problem, but it was all he could come up with at the moment. Merlin had tried studying the old books to see if there was any spell that would make two people dislike each other, but the only ones he could find were to break an existing curse, which he didn't think they were under, or for them to feel disgusted and repelled, which he didn't want want either, it would look most strange if the Queen and one of her trusted advisers suddenly feel out.  


On Friday morning Merlin exited his room, tried from another long night studying the books.

"Merlin" called Gaius " can you do something for me today?"

"Depends."

"I need you collect feverfew for me, my supply is running dangerously low." Merlin sighed.

"Can't David do it for you?"

"David's mother is ill, nothing serious, but she needs his care. Haven't you noticed that he hasn't been around for the last few days?" To tell the truth he hadn't noticed.

"I'm sorry Gaius I can't today, Gwen needs me."

"Does Gwen need you or do you need to be around Gwen?" Merlin fidgeted.

"I don't know what you mean."

"What I mean is every day you leave here early in the morning and spend your day by Gwen's side or close by, and don't come back until she has retired for the evening. Do you realize it has been almost two weeks since you visited your cottage? This is the longest you have gone without visiting it since you made it your home. In the past if I asked you to collect herbs you would have done so happily, so that afterwards you could spend the night at your home, than bring me the herbs the next day."

"Well, I don't know if I'd say happily" Gaius raised an eyebrow. "Look Gaius, I understand what you are saying. I will visit the cottage, and collect your herbs, but not today."

"When? Merlin you can't continue to follow Gwen around like a lost dog, others will begin to notice, if they haven't already." At that moment a knock sounded at the door. Gaius bid them enter. The door opened revealing one of Camelot's guards. 

"Good morning gentlemen, Merlin the Queen would like a word with you in her private chambers." Merlin and Gaius exchanged a look.

"Of course" said Merlin as he followed the guard out of the room.


	4. Chapter 4

Merlin entered Gwen's quarters following the guard. Gwen was sitting on the window seat, the light shone like a halo around her.

"Your Grace, I have brought Merlin, as requested" announced the guard.

"Thank you, you may leave us." Gwen got up and walked over to the table. She indicated that he should take the seat at her right, while she sat at the head of the table.

"Merlin, we're friends are we not?"

"Of course."

"Have I done something to offend you, or that you have disliked?"

"No."

"I see, and what of Sir Leon, is he your friend?"

"Yes."

"Has he offended you, or abused your trust in anyway?" Merlin hesitated for a moment.

"No."

"Merlin, strange things have been happening to Sir Leon and myself, magical things. Would you happen to know anything about that?" Merlin studied his hands, tracing a pattern on the table.

"I don't know what you mean."

"Let me give you a few examples, gifts Sir Leon means to give me are inexplicably damaged before I can receive them, when he tries to be close to me he feels like he is being pushed back by an unseen hand, the other day it felt like I had some sort of invisible shield around me, I could not touch anyone and no one could get close to me." Merlin hide a small smile, that last one he was particularly proud of, although it had not been easy to maintain over a long period of time.

"I remember years ago when similar things used to happen, we would write them off as strange occurrences, until we learned who was responsible." Merlin was silent. "Please, there is no use trying to deny it, it must be you. Unless some strange sorcerer has found his way into the castle, which I think you would have noticed since you have spent everyday by my side." There was no use trying to hide his actions any longer.

"Yes, it was me."

"Why Merlin?"

"Because you and Sir Leon are more than friends." It was Gwen's turn to fidget.

"I thought as much, but I had hoped it was something else, that others hadn't noticed."

"I don't know about the others, but I noticed, and Gaius knows."

"I guess that shouldn't surprise me. Merlin, what is it about Sir Leon and I being together that disturbs you so much? Why did you feel you had to go to such lengths to separate us?"

"Arthur. I have always protected Arthur, and furthered his interests, and you're Arthur's wife."

"I was Arthur's wife. He's gone."

"But, he will come again." She sighed.

"I know the words of the dragons prophesy as well as you do, but it has been five years. Five years where I have been sorely tested by our enemies, and our friends. There were many times when I looked for him to come, many trails where I have thought this must be a signal of his return. But, there is nothing but silence from the isle of Avalon, and I have come to realize that he must be needed for a time other than my own, and I do no want to spend the rest of my life alone."

Was Gwen correct? Was Arthur truly gone? He wanted to scream at her that she was wrong, that Arthur would return within their lifetimes. But, maybe she was right, Arthur might be needed by a future and distant Camelot. Was it fair to expect Gwen to wait for an event that may never occur? A great sadness filled Merlin the more he thought upon the matter. Something must have shown on his face, because Gwen placed her hand over his.

"I did not mean to make you angry or sad, and I am sorry if I have caused you distress, but your magical interference needs to stop." Gwen began to rise from her chair, as if to signal an end to their conservation.

"Do you love him? Sir Leon?" Gwen collapsed back into her chair.

"I don't know."

"You don't know?" asked Merlin, incredulous.

"It is still so new. Leon has been there for me through one of the hardest periods of my life. He has been my defender, adviser, confident and friend, but it was only recently that I realized he could be more."

"What changed?"

"A couple of months ago, when the group of you went to deal with the brigands on the northern boarders, and Leon was badly injured." 

"But, I healed him."

"And I thank you for that, but it scared me, and my heart hurt at the thought of him not being part of my future. Afterwards, when things were clam and he was well, I told him how I felt, and surprisingly he felt the same way, but he never spoke to me, because I was the Queen. We decided to quietly spend time together, to make sure our feelings were true, before we told anyone. Or at least that was the plan."

"Until I ruined it."

"Yes. You know I had worried about the opinions of many people, the council, the other knights, but I never worried about you. You and I have been friends for many years, we were even friends before Arthur. I thought if anyone would wish for my happiness it would be you."

"I do want you to be happy, Gwen. Things just got mixed around in my head. I made a judgement about what was best for you, and I was just trying to protect you. Being a wise sorcerer is not as easy as it seems" he said giving her smile, she gave him one in return.

"No, I guess it's not, but next time something is worrying you, just come talk to me about it."

"Alright, no more invisible shields or dying flowers, but if he hurts you, or you change your mind..."

"I know where to find you." Merlin rose to take his leave. As he headed towards the door Gwen called to him.

"Merlin, I won't change my mind." Merlin nodded and left the room.


	5. Chapter 5

After his meeting with Gwen Merlin walked the castle grounds for a time, thinking about all she said, before returning to Gaius. Gaius was seated, supposedly reading, but he looked up as soon as Merlin entered.

"How did it go?" Gaius inquired.

"You were right. She noticed my strange behaviour, and the magic I thought I had hidden so well." Merlin told Gaius everything they had discussed, Gaius nodded frequently, but did not interrupt until he was finished.

"Gwen is turning out to be an astute Queen for one so young and with all the trails she has had to face."

"But, is she right?"

"About Sir Leon or Arthur?"

"Either." Gaius sighed.

"Merlin death is never an easy thing. When someone dies it can feel like the world should stop, but life continues, the crops must be harvested, animals need to be feed, the sick must be tended to, and finding love is part of life."

"But, Arthur isn't dead, not in the true sense."

"We are all aware of the dragon's prophesy, but we can not suspend our lives waiting for it to occur. Arthur himself had to deal with death, he had to continue on after his father passed, he had to adapt to a new life. Do you really think that if Arthur came back today that he would be angry at Gwen for living?" Merlin didn't answer Gaius, but he thought long and hard about what he said. That night when they were preparing for bed Merlin asked

"How are you so wise?" Gaius allowed himself a small smile.

"Wisdom comes from age and experience. You are a great deal wiser than when we first met, and someday when you are my age you will know things beyond my comprehension." He gave Merlin's shoulder a squeeze, and headed to his bed. Merlin walked towards his room, but stopped on the threshold and turned.

"Thank you, Gaius."

"For what?"

"For always being there for me."

"It's been an honour Merlin, it truly has."

From that day forth Merlin no longer interfered between Gwen and Sir Leon. Actually, he made sure that the servants and members of the court gave them the privacy they required. It was not always easy, he often doubted himself, but then he would think back to that conversation with Gaius. He knew the answer to Gaius' question, Arthur would not be angry at Gwen, he would want her to live and find joy. Also, by helping Gwen he came to realize he himself wasn't living a full life, he had been living a partial life, a suspended life, waiting on Arthur's return. It was time for him to make some changes, if Arthur would want happiness for Gwen, he would want the same thing for Merlin too.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the long wait for the last chapter, it has been hard trying to wrap this one up. Thank you to every one who has taken the time to read it, I hope you enjoyed it.


End file.
